Just Once
by EclareYumminess
Summary: Eli and Clare are married and something tragic happens...will it ruin everything?Rated M for Death and Sexual Content.
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING - **CONTAINS DEATH OF A NEWBORN CHILD IF THIS OFFENDS YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ THE MATERIAL.

**AN: This story is rated M for various reasons and it is a pretty dark fanfiction so if you aren't into those things I suggest you pass this story there will be happy moments also I promise!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Degrassi,obviously**

"Eli what's going on?" Clare looked at me in panic as she waited to hear the sound of new lungs cry out to the world for the first time…but we didn't hear anything. I held her hand and looked at the doctor who held his head low and I knew what was coming, I didn't want to hear it,I wanted to burst out in tears when the doctor looked into my face with grey eyes as he said..

"We are so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy ." Clare looked at me with sad blue eyes and tears beamed down and streaked her cheeks. I wanted to cry, I really did but I held strong for Clare…I had to be strong for Clare.

"What do you mean your sorry! I want to see my baby, why isn't she crying!" Clare struggled to sit up but I held onto her shoulders she had just had a emergency cesarean section and shouldn't be trying to get up.

"No, Eli! Don't push me back down! I just want to see my baby, please!" She knew what was going on, I could tell by the look in her eyes, but she didn't want to believe it.

"I'm sorry but the baby was a stillbirth." The doctor wiped his forehead and gave us a apologetic look. I knew what had happened but hearing the words come out of his mouth made it ten times worse. I felt like I had just been cut in half, we had been waiting for this baby for nine months after trying for over a year and now, she is gone. This is going to break Clare in half she was so disappointed every time we would try for a baby and the test would come back negative.

Then it happened….one day she was feeling sick and we took her to the doctor and he came back with the best news we had heard in the past year…Clare was pregnant. The doctors thought we wouldn't be able to have children, they said it may never happen but it did!

The last nine months have been filled with picking out names, finding out we were having a baby girl and painting a nursery .We wanted this baby so much and now she was gone. I burst out into tears at that moment, I had tried to be strong for Clare but when the thoughts of going home without Isabelle made me loose it.

"Eli." She looked at me and her lip trembled trying hard not to let any tears fall out. I sat down next to Clare and held onto her and she let the tears flow into my shoulder.

We sat there like that for a long time just crying silently mourning the loss of our miracle…our baby. Our baby we had waited for since we said 'I Do'. Once they had cleaned up Clare they brought her into a hospital room. She looked lost and empty as she placed a hand over the scar on her stomach and a tear rolls down her cheek and onto her abdomen.

"What if this was it?" She didn't look at me she just held her hand to her stomach and looked up at the ceiling. I couldn't stand seeing her like this…a empty shell of herself.

"What do you mean?" I said gently sitting next to her on the thin hospital mattress.

"What if this was our last chance." I realized what she meant and I placed a kiss on her lips and she tried to give me a smile but you could tell her heart wasn't in it.

"Just because it didn't work this time doesn't mean we can't try again." I stated trying to show her a bright side even though on the inside I was just as empty as she was.

"What if its my fault Eli? What if there was something I could have done differently…we may still have her…Oh Eli…what if…" I stopped her hysterics and pulled her into a embrace.

"Clare the doctor said we couldn't have done anything our blood types just don't match up."

"But if we would have known we could have gotten the RH treatments…and maybe we would still have…" She couldn't finish the sentence she just kept holding onto me and I held her back slowly rocking her and combing my fingers through her cinnamon curls.

"Shhh, Clare it's going to be okay. After a while we can try again."

"It's not fair we shouldn't have to try again…I wanted this baby Eli, I loved her."

"I loved her too Clare, more than I can say but that doesn't mean we should give up. I know you want a baby more than anything Clare and I don't want you to go around thinking this is your fault and giving up on having a family. Next time we will get the RH treatments and we will be extra careful." Clare nodded her head and buried herself into my shoulder as I rubbed her back with little circles.

"I want to see her…." Clare said bluntly and I nodded.

"Are you sure?" I said pulling away from her and she nodded and wiped a stray tear from her face.

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It was one of the most heart breaking things I had ever seen. Clare held Isabelle in her arms and choked on her own tears. I know to some people it may seem strange for Clare to want to hold her…but you will never know the feeling until it has happened to you. Clare needed to hold Isabelle in her arms….just once.

**AN: I know,I know it's sad I hope you guys still like it though!I promise it gets better!Reviews are appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay so last chapter I forgot to credit my AMAZING Beta Reader Alyx-withay you should check her out .net/u/893300/ ;) **

**Also this chapter I included my very first lemon...so if it sucks I am sorry *hides in corner***

It has been almost a month since Isabelle passed away and Clare just

isn't herself anymore.

Her once bright blue eyes have turned into a dull grey that just stare

right through you. When she looks at me I feel as if a blade has been brushed across my

heart and as much as I was mourning the loss of Isabelle as well I couldn't bring myself

to be vulnerable in front of Clare...I can't make her feel worse than she already does.

"Eli?" I jumped as I turned away from my PDA to see Clare standing

behind me in a bath robe, pajamas and slippers. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were blood shot,obviously from crying she was holding the ultrasound picture of Isabelle in her hand.

"I must have done something wrong..." She looked at the picture then down at her feet and I stood up and pulled her into a warm embrace, we went through this almost every day.

"Clare for the last time it wasn't your fault. We can't help what blood

types we have." I said rubbing her back trying to soothe her pain.

"I hate this Eli...why couldn't I have died and not her?" Clare buried her face in her hands and walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch with a sigh.

"Don't you ever say that Clare." I walked towards her and knelt down to the side of the couch gently stroking her cinnamon curls.

"It's true though, I wish it would have been me." She glanced up at the ceiling and pushed away my hand.

"It isn't like that Clare...we weren't in a car crash...the baby had RH can't go on thinking this is your fault." Clare looked around the room and grasped the photo even tighter and she sat straight up and glared at me with stiff eyes.

"Well I'm so sorry I miss our baby and actually MOURN her Eli...you obviously didn't care about Isabelle very much! Whenever I talk about her or start to get upset you tell me it's alright and try to brush off the subject like you want to forget about her!"

Clare stood up off the couch and stormed upstairs and I heard the bedroom door slam. I thought about going after her but I knew it was no good she accused me of not loving Isabelle at least once a day lately.

I knew she was upset but she was just getting out of control, this stillbirth really took a lot out of her, she wasn't the same bright, bubbly girl I used to know she was now a dark and hollow shell of the Clare I once knew and I tried my best to stay calm whenever she started to act like this but hearing I didn't love my daughter all the time was really starting to bring me down.

I looked up the stair case and decided I needed to confront her about this and I knew it wasn't going to be easy,but it had to be done.I slowly headed up the stairs and opened the door of Clare and mine's bedroom .She was lying on the bed with her feet swaying slightly over the side choking on her own tears.

"Clare, we need to talk." She lifted her head in surprise and sat up on the bed and rested against the headboard wiping away a tear that had escaped her tear ducts.

"Eli...I'm not really in the mood." She gave me a raw face and looked over at our side table where a picture of us on our honeymoon sat.I walked over to her and sat on the bed and gently touched her chin and brought her eyes to face mine.

"Clare, you can't keep telling me I didn't love Isabelle." Clare opened her mouth to say something but I didn't let her speak.

"No, Clare I mean it! I loved Isabelle more than my own life and the only reason I try to brush of the subject is because I am trying to be strong for you, but every time you talk about her I just want to break down or punch a wall because I am so mad and upset that this happened to us!"

"Eli..." Clare looked at me and leaned forward but I continued to rage.

"You don't think every time I walk by her empty nursery I don't feel empty inside? You don't think every day when you walk around holding her photograph I don't feel like I am going to die inside? Clare I loved Isabelle but I love you and I try my hardest to be strong for you and not to get upset but I can't stand being told I didn't love my daughter, because I did Clare...I still do and I always will,I need you to understand that."

I didn't hold back my tears this time I just let them fall. Clare made a sound like a whimper and crawled over to me.

"I'm so sorry Eli...I didn't mean it when I said you didn't love Isabelle...I just don't know how to handle this and I am taking it out on the one person I love more than anything in this entire world." She kissed my cheek and I turned around to meet her face and pulled her into a warm kiss.

"Wow...we haven't done that in a long time." Clare eyes glanced up at mine and her cheeks were slightly pink and the grey in her eyes wasn't as present as it was earlier...she looked kind of...happy.

Ever since Clare came home from the hospital the most I got was a peck on the cheek maybe a peck to the lips once in a while.

"Well then I guess we are out of practice...maybe we should catch up." Clare smiled and I leaned in and placed my hand on the back of her head and gave her a deep kiss. It was so soft and loving, yet demanding and lust filled all at the same time.

Clare pressed into my lips a little more and flung her right leg over me so she was straddling me. I smiled into the kiss and put my hand in the small of her back.

For a second Clare pulled away and looked into my eyes.I looked at her questioningly and she straightened her hair with her fingers.

"Eli...wait...I look horrible..." I looked at her messy hair and pj's and gave a chuckle...we haven't been intimate in six months (we hadn't had sex since her fourth month of the pregnancy) and she was worried about her hair and clothing?

"Clare, your hair is going to get messed up and your clothes are going to come off anyways...what is the point?" Clare gave me a playful swat on the shoulder and pushed me down onto the bed, a grin spread across her face like the Cheshire Cat...I missed this Clare it was nice to see her again.

"That's my girl." I said with a smirk as she leaned forward and kissed me again,I could feel this kiss all the way down to my toes and it made every inch of my body swell with love and want.

'

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Before I knew it our clothes were on the floor and Clare was placing small kisses and nipping on my neck while casually grinding herself entrance against me once in a while teasing me...watching me squirm.

"Clare...please...it's been a VERY long time." She smirked at me like I usually did to her and placed herself above my painfully hard member and slowly lowered herself onto me making me groan in satisfaction.

I grasped onto her hips and she used her knees to swiftly move up and down my cock but her pace was to slow so I flipped her over and took control as she moaned in surprise and delight.

"Someones...really...eager...oohhh." Clare said in between breaths as she arched her back into my pelvis.

"Shhh." I said as I placed my index finger over her mouth and thrust into her deeper and faster.

"Eli...please...harder..." I chuckled at the fact I forgot how she liked it and rammed into her harder than before.

"OHHHHH." Clare hissed through her teeth and I smiled in pure delight while penetrating her harder and faster creating a rhythm.

"You're still...so tight..." I said as I reached down and pushed my thumb onto her clit causing her eyes to roll back in her head and grasp onto the sheets.

"Eli...I think...fuck..." Clare grabbed onto the sheets even tighter and I felt her walls contracting around me and I knew she was close so I sped up trying to get us to reach a mutual climax.

"That's it baby...let it go." I said as gently pressed my thumb into her clit and she bit on her finger trying to suppress her screams but I pulled her finger out.

"No...I want..to hear..." I said as I felt myself coming to an end.

"ELI!"Clare screamed as she reached her orgasm as soon as I heard her scream my name I burst inside of her moaning out her name in a hushed town.

"Clare...mmm." I kept thrusting to ride out our orgasm and after a few times I finally pulled out and collapsed next to her.

"Wow..." Was all Clare could manage to say.

"You said it." I was panting and holding onto Clare's hand and she turned into me and rested her head on my chest.

"I almost forgot how good it felt..being with you." Clare looked into my eyes I gave her a quick kiss on her lips.

"We should probably..clean you up you know?" I said motioning to my semen slowly oozing out of her slit she giggled and shook her head.

"I don't care...as long as you don't care." Clare always cleaned herself up afterwards but the thought of her leaving it was just too damn sexy to deny.

"Why would I mind?" I said and she cuddled into me.

"Just don't get it all over me." I said in a sarcastic town and Clare looked at me and raised her eyebrow.

"Shhh just go to sleep." Clare said and wrapped her arms around me as I kissed her on the forehead and she closed her eyes.

"Can I say one more thing?"

"Depends on what it is?" She said still holding her eyes shut.

"I love you." She looked up at me and smiled.

"I love you too." and with that we fell asleep in each other's arms.

**AN: Was my lemon extremely awkward like I thought it was?Did it suck?I'm sorry if it did hopefully I will get better at writing them as time goes on!**

**Also the next chapter will be a little depressing so fair warned!Also reviews make me write faster!**

**Thanks ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**AN: Heyyy guys this chapter is going to be pretty...well depressing so be warned!Also a few people commented on the 'aftermath' of the Lemon in the last chapter and trust me it was awkward for me to write that part as well but it plays a pretty important role in the storyline so it had to be this chapter is twice as long as the last two so I hope you like it!**

**Also once again I would like to thank my amazing Beta Reader Alyx_withay shes amazing! **

I woke up to the sound of Clare crying, at first I thought she had just woken up and was thinking about Isabelle again so I turned over to comfort her, but when I looked to my side I noticed she was still asleep. I gently tapped her shoulder her trying to wake her from her nightmare but she just kept sobbing.

"Clare,wake up it's just a dream. I'm right here everything is okay." I lightly shook her shoulders but I still got no response. I sighed and got up to turn on the light but as I stood up Clare starting thrashing and clawing at her skin.

"Clare!Clare!Stop it!Wake up!" I ran to her side but she wouldn't wake from her dark slumber. Her nails dug deep into her skin and her eyes were shut tight as tears escaped from the corners gently dancing across her pale skin.

Clare's nails started to carve into her stomach even more causing the skin around her cesarean section scar to bleed. I grabbed onto her hands and she kept thrashing trying to get out of my hold but I just kept whispering to her that she was going to be okay.

"Just wake up Clare,It's are at home you are safe." It took her a while but eventually her erratic movements stopped and her eyes shot open.

"Eli...what just happened?" She looked down at my hands which were holding hers and saw the semi dried blood. I looked into her eyes and she looked as if she had just watched a puppy die...or worse her baby...

"Were you having a dream...about Isabelle?" Clare looked down when I said her name and nodded and I pulled her into me.

"You really scared me Clare...you were attacking yourself in your sleep." I said and looked at her stomach which had a layer of dried blood I placed my hand over it and traced the lines she had made.

"I'm...I'm sorry it's just..." She looked at the ceiling and I saw more tears welling up in her eyes.

"Shhh don't be you want to talk about it?" She looked at me but shook her head.

"Alright you don't have to...lets just get you cleaned up okay?" She nodded and I put on some pajamas then led her to the bathroom were I ran a bath for her. I made sure the water was semi warm just like she liked it and I reached for some bubble bath but she said no.

"I just want to sit in the water." I reached out and guided her to the tub and proceeded to grab a wash cloth and wipe the dried blood off her stomach which caused the water to turn a light shade of pink I thought it would upset her, but it didn't seem to faze her so I just continued to clean up the scratches on her stomach she winced when I would bring the thin cloth across her stomach but she took the pain.

I then took some soap and washed the scratches and the rest of her and when I got down to her legs...something I hadn't noticed before came into vision.

"Clare...why are there cuts on the back of your legs?" Her eyes went from being glazed to wide and alert and she sat up in a panic.

"Wh-what cuts?" She said putting her hands over the back of her legs as the pink water swooshed in the green had a look of worry on her face like she was a teenage girl caught doing drugs in her parents room.

"Clare..." I looked into her eyes and I immediately knew what she had been doing and it pained me to know that she felt she needed to resort to stood up out of the tub without a word or even rinsing off and grabbed her towel and ran out of the bathroom without saying a word to me. I sighed and unplugged the tub and watched as Clare's soul swirled down the drain.

I washed my hands and turned off the bathroom light and went back into our bedroom were I saw Clare wrapped in her bath robe sitting in the corner near the wasn't crying ... but the way her face looked was worse than when she cried...she had no facial expression it was like someone had reached inside of her and pulled out everything that made her bright,beautiful and wonderful and chopped it into a million tiny pieces.

"I don't know why I do it Eli...ever since a week after we came home from the hospital I have been doing time you would push away the subject of Isabelle and you acted like you had no emotion towards her... I felt like I was alone..."

I swallowed the lump in my throat at her words...I was the reason she was doing this? All the time I was trying to spare her I was really just making it worse? What kind of a husband am I, not seeing what was going on right in front of me.I used to know her so well, I had every square inch of her body memorized...how could I let her loose herself?

"You are not alone Clare,as long as I am breathing you will never be alone." Clare tried to smile but I shook my head and sat next to her at the window.

"I want to name a star after her." Clare looked out the window and traced the outline of the window pane's like a little kid drawing in the fog.

"That's a great idea." I was going to bring up the cuts but I didn't have the heart to do it at that moment so I just kissed her forehead and we sat and gazed at the stars just like we used to in high school.

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It's been about two months since I found out about Clare's self harm and she started going to a therapist, which seemed to help a little, but she still had nightmares at least once a week.

Ever since that day she has been...well I don't even know how to put it...it's like she wants to be with me every second and every chance we get she jumps me. I mean don't get me wrong...I love being with Clare more than anything but lately it seems like she just wants sex and that's it.

"Do you really have to go hang out with Adam today?" Clare was following me around like a lost puppy and I smiled at her.

"I haven't seen Adam in almost a month Clare." Clare pouted and headed up the stairs.I shook my head and headed out the door way. I know it sounds cruel to just leave but I literally have to beg her to let me leave the house sometimes so I took that as my chance to leave.

When I got to Adam's house I saw him sitting on his front porch with have been dating since High School but neither of them are really ready for marriage yet but they just started living together about six months ago.I was really happy Adam had found someone that made him as happy as Fiona did...even if she did go through a curiosity stage when they first started dating and Adam wasn't sure if Fiona accepted him.

I got out of Morty and walked up to him and Adam stood up and pounded my fist.

"Eli,Man how are things going in the house of sex?" I rolled my eyes and laughed and noticed Fiona look down at her hands.

"You know I love being with Clare...it just seems that's ALL she wants lately.I had to practically sneak out of the house today!" We both shared a chuckle and Fiona kept looking at her hands so I asked her what was up.

"You okay Fiona?" I stepped up to her and she nodded.

"Oh,uhm yeah." I shrugged my shoulders and sat down on a wooden rocking chair.

"Have you figured out why she has been so...uhmm vigorous lately?"

"No, I tried asking her but she didn't respond she just kept going at it...also there is something weird she has been doing lately..." I mentally slapped myself because I knew I probably shouldn't share this but Adam was my best friend practically a brother and Fiona was Clare's best friend even if she hadn't hung out with her in months they still gabbed on the phone whenever Clare wasn't attacking my bones.

"What?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and played with a loose string on my jacket.

"She has been...uhm...leaving it." Adam cocked his head to the side like a puppy and Fiona giggled in a weird high pitched tone.

"What do you mean...leaving it in?" I laughed, even after all these years Adam is still pretty naive but I loved him like a brother.

"You know afterwards she leaves...'it' in..." Adam looked at me with a strange face again.

"Oh my goodness Adam...his cum!" Fiona blurted out then slapped her hand over her 's eyes widened and shook his head.

"Too much information man!" Adam covered his eyes and Fiona laughed.

"No I know, I mean at first I didn't think anything of it...but now it's every time and frankly its starting to creep me out a bit."

"Why are we talking about this?" Adam said and looked at the porch ceiling.

"Hey you started it." I put my hands up in defense.

"Wait..are you guys trying again?"

"Trying for what?"

"Now who's the dumb one? For another baby! Are you guys trying again?" Adam smiled and then a thought occurred to me...is that why Clare has been acting this way lately...if so why wouldn't she have told me?

"No...she would have told me..." I shook my head and stood up and leaned up against the porch railing.

"Then why else would she leave it man?I mean don't you find that a little strange?"

"Of course but...no Clare would have told me, right?" Adam shrugged his shoulders and I looked over at Fiona who was staring at her hands once again.

"Fiona...do you know something about this?" Fiona snapped her head up at me and looked a little nervous.

"I promised I wouldn't say anything."

"Come on Fiona, Clare is my wife I think I deserve to know." I stare her down and she bit her bottom lip, I could tell she was trying to decide whether or not to tell me.

"Fiona...Eli loves Clare he just wants to help." Adam stood up and put a hand on my shoulder and we both looked at Fiona.

"Alright fine but you have to promise me you won't tell Clare I told you she trusted me so let her tell you on her own time, okay?" I nodded and sat down once again bracing myself for whatever it was Fiona was going to tell me.

"Clare,She's trying to get pregnant again." I looked at Fiona in disbelief and ran a hand through my hair...why hadn't Clare told me? I told her whenever she was ready we could start trying again.

"She didn't say anything because she didn't want you to be disappointed whenever she took a test and it wasn't wanted to wait and tell you after she knew for sure." Fiona twirled her fingers in her plaid skirt and looked between me and Adam.

"She knows I would have supported her! She can't do this alone!"

"Well obviously..." Fiona said and I wanted to slap her out of frustration not because I was mad at her but..well you get what I am saying.

"Not like that..you don't understand ever since Isabelle Clare has been depressed...I can't imagine her going through this alone...has she taken any tests yet?"

"Once and it was negative." Fiona let go of her skirt and I clasped my hands together worrying for the sake of Clare's sanity.

"When...when did she take the test?" I grabbed Fiona's shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"Last night..."

**AN: Ohhhhh Cliff Hanger!Will Clare be able to handle this?Will Eli be able to confront her about this? Make sure you review to get the new chapters up!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:Well I don't really have much to say about this chapter...just be prepared for the ending.**

_"Last night..."_

I sucked in my breath as the airy words came out of Fiona's mouth.I let go of her shoulders and ran my fingers through my thick hair and started to pace.

"Everything alright man?" Adam shoved his hands in his pockets and gazed at me with concern.I shook my head no and turned towards him.

"No Adam everything is not okay,I need to get to Clare...right now." Adam's eyes widened when he realized how serious I was.

"Wait what's going on is Clare okay?" I tried to run off but Adam grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards him.I let out a puff of air and rolled my eyes,I really didn't have time for this...

"Look Adam I really don't have time to explain." I pushed his hand off of my arm but he kept following me...he wasn't going to give up.

"Then I am going with you." I nodded because I really didn't have time to argue and headed towards Morty and Adam followed behind I was opening the door to the drivers seat I heard the clank of heels sprint across Adam's driveway...I rolled my eyes when I saw Fiona heading towards us,I love Adam and Fiona,I really do I just don't have time for this shit.

"I am coming too,Clare is my best friend." I didn't respond and got into the car as Adam and Fiona slid in to the passengers seat,they were both pretty skinny so they both fit in the one seat which was a relief because I didn't have the time to wait for one of them to get into the back.

I put the key in the ignition with a shaky hand and tried to start up Morty,but of course today of all days he decided to act up.I slammed my fist into the steering wheel and cursed under my breath.

"Come on Morty,start up baby this is really important." I tried the keys again but it only turned on for about three seconds before shutting back down.

"SHIT!" I threw my keys onto the dashboard and I was about to get out of Morty and run to Clare but then Fiona stepped out and motioned me to get out aswell. I gave her a questioning look and she cocked her head.

"Come on,we can take my car." I got out of the car and looked thankfully at Fiona,if I had walked who knows how long it would have taken to get back to Clare...and what could happen in the time it took me to get there...I shook of the thought and looked towards Fiona.

"I see the look on your face Elijah,and don't you dare think of even saying thank you,Clare is my best friend and if she is in trouble I will do anything to make sure she is safe...just like you always do." She opened the garage door and she grabbed her keys out of a bejeweled jar and she handed them to me.I turned them over to see the rhinestone 'F' on the key cover and couldn't help but smirk.

"You want me to drive?" I clasped the keys in my hand and Fiona nodded.

"I'm a slow driver, with me behind the wheel it would take I am used to others driving me around,this car is for emergencies only."

"It's true man,I think Fiona has driven like one time since we started dating and it was only because I had broken my wrist." Adam looked at Fiona with a smirk on his face...I have taught him I snapped back to the real world and rushed to the car and got inside.

"Sorry to interrupt the little trip down memory lane,but we really need to get to Clare." Adam and Fiona nodded and got into the car...of course Adam opening the door for her and sliding in next to her in the back seat.I put the tacky bejeweled key's into the cars ignition and I sighed with relief when it purred like a kitten and pulled out of the garage and onto the street.

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The ride was silent and tension filled, I was already full of anger and fear for Clare, and Adam and Fiona could tell by my body language so they sat silently in the back seat and only gasped when I made fast sharp turns.I knew they were silently hoping not to die but at that moment I only cared about getting to Clare...that was all that mattered.

I pulled up into our driveway and turned off the car as I was about to get out I turned around and looked at Adam and Fiona who were just sitting there waiting for me to say something.

"Just stay in the car for now you guys,alright?" They nodded and stayed in their place as I opened the door to the car and ran up to our front door.I tried to open the front door but it was locked.

"Shit..." I searched my leather jacket for my key's then remembered I had left them in Morty so I pounded my fist against the door rapidly hoping,praying Clare would answer.

I knocked once...no answer.

Twice...still no answer.

At that point every possible horrible scenario ran through my had and I started to rapidly pound on the door with my fists screaming out Clare's name.

"Clare!Clare!Open the door!Please Clare just open the door!" When she didn't answer I punched the door and leaned my head up against it and let a tear roll down my cheek.I knew what was going on...just like when Isabelle had passed...I knew what was going on and I was afraid...no I was terrified.

I looked back at the Lexus that sat in my driveway and saw Adam and Fiona looking through the window looking at straight at me,they must have noticed I was crying because they both got out of the car and ran towards me.

"Eli?What's going on?" Adam ran towards me and put his hand on my back and I held my breath trying not to freak stood behind him,her blue eyes looking strait at me.

"Call 911..." I said and leaned my head against the door.

"Wh-what..." I looked up at Adam and looked him dead on.

"Call 9-1-1 now...please." He nodded and ran to the car, I am guessing to get his cell phone and Fiona stepped towards me.

"What can I do?" She looked over me and placed a hand across my shoulder.

"We need to get into the house." I clasped my hands together and placed them over my mouth slightly nibbling on my skin out of worry.

"Don't you have the keys?"

"I left them in Morty..." I bit my hand again and a bit of blood started to trickle but it didn't faze me I was just worried about Clare right now, but apparently it bothered Fiona because she grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes.

"Eli! Stop it! Whatever is going on with Clare it can't be that bad!" I yanked my hand out of her grasp and sucked the blood from the small bite mark and spit my pink saliva on the concrete and it landed with a thud causing Fiona to jump back slightly.

"Not that bad!Fiona,Clare has been hurting herself for the past three loss of Isabelle has driven her into a depressed state and I don't know what this news could do to her!" Fiona looked at me and blinked and opened her mouth to say something but Adam came running up.

"I tried calling 911 but they said they can't come unless I state my emergency...I didn't know what the emergency was..." Adam looked down at his feet and I cursed and bit my hand again this time alot harder.

"Woah,Eli calm down!" Adam leaned forward and looked into my eyes and his face turned pale.

"Shit Eli...something is seriously wrong isn't there?" Adam was so naive sometime...

"I've got to get inside now!" I turned away from them and tried ramming the door with my body,but I am obviously to small for that so I ran around to the back door and tried it but it was locked also.

"Forget this." I went into the gardening shed and grabbed a rake and smashed the window to the backdoor open and reached my hand through the glass to open the door. I got a couple cuts since the glass had went everywhere but I didn't even noticed the pain, All that matter was that I was in the house and now I needed to find Clare.

"Clare,Clare!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and got silent hoping to hear a response.

"Eli!" I heard a faint voice call me from upstairs and I knew it was Clare.I dashed towards the stairs and ran up I couldn't tell where her voice had came from but I called it out again.

"Clare?Sweet heart where are you!" I heard a small tapping on the bathroom door next to me and I turned the knob to open the door but of course it was locked.

"Eli...please." I heard Clare whisper in a small voice and I knew something was wrong.

"Clare open the door!" I put my hand on the door frame and waited for her to open it,but she didn't.I thought about ramming the door but I knew she was just on the other side and if I did that I might hit her head.

"FUCK!" I banged on the door with full force and I heard a small click signaling the door had been unlocked then I suddenly remembered our lock didn't work properly and would pretty much unlock under the slightest slap to the wood. My hand darted for the knob and I opened it slowly making sure Clare wasn't just on the other side so I wouldn't hit her...when I stepped inside to I saw something,something I knew was coming...I was hoping I had been wrong.

Clare laid on the floor with a white towel wrapped around her wrist,bright red blood seeping through.I quickly got on my knees next to her and lifted up the towel to see the damage...she had cut straight through to her vain.I let a tear roll down my cheek and put the towel back around her wrist and applied pressure getting blood on my hands in the process.

"Clare!Clare!What have you done?" I lifted up her head and her eyes opened and closed trying to look at me.

"I'm sorry Eli...I didn't mean to go so deep...I was just trying to stop the pain..." Her eyes closed again and I held onto the towel even harder trying to stop the bleeding...she was still breathing but she needed help and fast!

"Adam!Adam!Call 911 and tell them to get there asses over here!Clare is dying!"

**AN: Soooo what did you guys think?Read and Review please because reviews make me smile :D**


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